- I consider my cats my kids and I don't want anything that requires more responsibility such as a dog. Forget about kids.
- I'm considering getting a vasectomy in the next year or two. I'm 26 now.
- I have Geri Halliwell's "It's Raining Men" on my iPod and it's one of my favorite workout tunes
- I once went 4 years without sex and I'm currently working on 7 years without being in a relationship
- I eat peanut butter and ice cream straight out of the container. With a fork.
- Once a pack of Ritz crackers is opened, it must be finished in one sitting. I have about 20 left in this pack.
- I like big booties and I cannot lie!
- I tell all of my roommates that if they hear me in the apartment doing something in the middle of the night, don't come out and chat with my because I will be naked and they will be embarrassed.
- I can't stand my family. I've used them mildly in the past. I feel bad about doing this, but not bad enough to really make myself change.
- I believe that i suffer from both mild depression and mild OCD.
- I love redheads.
- Abs on a female are really sexy
- I'm have absolutely no homosexual tendencies, but I can openly admit whether or not I find another man attractive
- I eat PB&J at least once a day
- Eventhough I have a ton of Taco Cabana's in my town, I still eat at Taco Bell
- I usually wear workout clothes twice before washing them unless they get really sweaty and stinky
- The first time I shaved my legs, I had the worst case of razor burn on my thighs afterwards. I was seriously considering what I was going to tell my boss when I called into sick the next day and what the people at the dermatologist's office would think when I came in.

And I'm spent.

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http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

• I scored a 12 on the metrosexual quiz, and I am a chick.
• I dream about sex with men other than my husband. He does not know this. I love him but do not want to have sex with him.
• I had an affair 10 years ago. He does know this.
• I sometimes wish one of my children had never been born.
• I read her blog and it scares me. She does not know I found it. I am glad she moved out last summer.
• I have lost and gained the same 80 pounds in the last 6 years. I am fat because I eat like a fu(king pig and cannot control myself.
• I will finally get my BS degree next January, 1 month before my 43rd birthday.
• My mother annoys me most of the time. Sometimes I feel guilty about that.
• I am afraid that I will not be able to race because I am fat again. I hate fat people too, including myself.
• I pick zits everywhere and anywhere on my body.
• Most people think I have my shit together.
• You ST’rs scare me with your intensity. I have never posted here but have lurked forever. This is my favorite thread.
• I too have read every dirty secret and I don’t mind showering. My hair is shorter than most guys.
• OCD and depression. Anxiety too. No kidding.
• I hate yard work and my yard looks like it.
• I want to sell my house, take the money and run. Far away from my family.

• Most people annoy me after a while.
• As a kid, I used to think that if I tried hard enough I could move things with my mind.
• My husband and I have had sex with another couple. Twice. Two different couples. It was fun, but I won't go out of my way to do it again any time soon. I definitely prefer men to women.
• In high school and college I did a lot of drugs and drinking. I probably did every drug that was available in the late 70s, early 80s at least once. I still drink once in a while but wouldn't touch another drug ever.
• I cry way too easily.
• I like my corporate job.
• I worry about how will I ever go on if one of my kids dies before me.
• I think about the plane crashing every time I fly.

ok, well?!? What did you think?

. I love walking down the aisle of a plane while letting loose a big fart and then watching the heads turn from the back of the plane, we call it cropdusting, very funny.

. I love farting in an elevator full of people and blaming it on other

. I will not let women pass me on the bike

. I love my Parents whom are still happily married and I see them often

. I love Cuban cigars and smoke them once a week.

. I love NASCAR, Junior rules

. I love having sex

. I love Spanish women

. I love a BIG SPANISH ASS,

. Im getting a BLOW JOB as i write this, woooohoooooo, gotta go!!!!!!

---

_____________________________________________

I have horrible back problems but I have zero problems staying in an aero position for 180k. Why? Because I ride steep and because I train regularly in that position. Simple as that.....Gerard

 



. Im getting a BLOW JOB as i write this, woooohoooooo, gotta go!!!!!![/reply]Just wondering...how good can the BJ be if you're able to type multiple posts with no spelling errors (although little punctuation)? I don't understand how boys work. When I'm gettin' the business, I couldn't even tell you my name.

I have some Slowtwitch-specific dirty secrets that I will share...

-- I believe Francois has a HUGE male-crush on Olaf Sabatschus (whose name I know I mispelled).

-- I believe that if you took the amount of time Tom Demerly spends on ST and divided the amount of money has made as a result of being on here, his hourly rate would be quite good

-- I believe that Gary Tingley and Frank Day secretly hate each other in a true good-vs.-evil way, and that they would definitely fight to the death if given the opportunity

-- SmartAssCoach is my favorite person on this forum

-- I like to read Record10's posts more than anyone because a lot of them are funny as shit and I think he is the most honest person I've ever encountered, even though I don't really know him.

-- I think that Slowtwitch is a microcosm of everything that could be right and wrong with an ungoverned society

-- I used to think that Mr. Tibbs was really a secret alter-ego of Slowman

I think that is all...

---

"Non est ad astra mollis e terris via." - Seneca | rappstar.com | FB - Rappstar Racing | IG - @jordanrapp

I've been watching this thread for days. I'm exhausted and should already be in bed but I think that I'm addicted. Here are a few:

• I think that some men can wear thongs and not look gay or comical.
• I've only got two phone numbers memorized. Mine and my parents'. I don't have any phone numbers written down I'm screwed if I lose my cell phone.
• Every time I get sick I worry that I've got Munchausen Syndrome.
• Whenever I see idiots with kids, I consider having half a dozen of my own to dilute the stupidity.
• Whenever I see cyclists breaking traffic laws, I think about hitting them with my car to teach them a lesson.
• I'm scared of homeless people.
• If I guy I was dating had a tooth knocked out or pulled, I would break up with him.

Let me clarify on the shower issue: I take showers. Lots of them. I just hate them and can be very grumpy if I'm forced to take an extra one.

I also thought of a couple of other secrets:

--I really, really, REALLY want to see Shaquille O'Neal naked. It doesn't have to be live; a picture would do just fine. I'm not attracted to the man; I'm just very curious.

--Sometimes when I watch football, I imagine the players are all naked; it's funnier that way.

--I love Neil Diamond, especially that song Forever in Blue Jeans.

"-- I believe that Gary Tingley and Frank Day secretly hate each other in a true good-vs.-evil way, and that they would definitely fight to the death if given the opportunity "

No way, Frank is too cool ...



As for me, well I have thought of a few more:

I don't know what to expect from my new single life, and it concerns me, not the being alone part, but the living alone part. I have never lived alone before in my entire life, and I am 32. It is very different to come home and my two little dogs are not there happy and wagging to see me. I miss them the most.

I think I am too materialistic, and with the mid-ish life crisis, it is only getting worse. Maybe I am trying to overcompensate to feel better about myself. I know I don't need certain things but

I am a little bitter about the whole thing, but I cover it up with humor.

I am concerned with Record10's suicide posting, really.

I think I have a mild form of OCD and anxiety. Do I need drugs?

I have trained every week for 6 years straight, now I just dont have the drive to compete or have structured training, this really sucks, and I cant shake it.

I believe in karma.

I want to enter graduate school this year, but I know there is no way I can have relationship with work/school/training ... kind of sad about that. Women dont want to be 4th on the list.

I need more friends. Working on it.

I am probably too generous, but I dont mind, it makes me feel good to help people.

I dont get enough sleep these days.

-a guy pulled over and scared the crap out of me on a 7:30am ride sat on an empty country rd and told me i really shouldnt be wearing a black shirt b/c as if i didnt realize it thats the color of a rd and I wanted to shoot him in the f-ing face as he didnt seem to realize lots of people drive black cars
-ditto for anyone so insecure w/ their driving that they need to blow their horn as they step on the gas to go by -except in the back of the head
-not really but they piss me off and im annoyed
-i would rather not plague the world by having kids and spreading my genes. Other retards should be less selfish and consider this as well.
-My bike is worth 450$ which makes me sad. it even has some tiagra on it but can still pass other bikes. If I had $7K i would spend it all on a bike though even if i didnt deserve it.
-I am too restless to watch a half hr of tv let alone a whole movie
-i judge ppl by how fast they are
-I never taper. the only time i did it was 1 week long for an IM. i know this is extremely stupid but i cant stop myself.
-i am way overtrained. my legs are tender to the touch and have been for over a year. lately i get a cold every month that lasts 2 weeks but im afraid to back off because im an idiot
-i listen to ppl talk all the time and let them go on for 1/2 hr w/ no idea what they are saying but make appropriate comments. all i want is to shoot myself to get away from them then feel pissed off for hrs after.
-i hate all girls, shopping, and make up, even if i have a zit.
-even when i think someone is cool i dont really want to spend time with them.
-id rather shoot myself than make small talk for the sake of talking when there is nothing to say
-i cant look the ppl at the front desk of the gym in they eye even though they are like 16 b/c i went there way too much and im sure they think im a total freak
-i think abortions are fine but putting puppies to sleep and doing experiments on bunnies makes me sick
-sometimes i say bs that i think ppl want to hear. a few catch me on it and those are the ones i respect.
-way too many people are demanding and think theyre owed stuff. if karma is correct theyll be reborn as starving africans or veal calves.
-i dont understand why people put veg oil in stuff -thats pure fat
-i think people who spend a months rent on an online coach are total tools. but i prob need a coach to control myself.
-im sure cervelos are nice bikes and i like the co. but theyre so trendy id rather ride a mtb and break my arm

thanks i feel better now.

- I have a foot fetish/phobia. I can't stand scabby, scaly feet, and will feel nauseous looking at split skin. At the same time, I can't ever stop staring when I see a bad case. I followed Monk's outbreak with much interest.

- I have a violent temper, and as a younger person was involved in many violent incidents. I still get the rage, but through a lot of work I have learnt control techniques. Sometimes I feel very close to the edge.

- I once hired a girl on the basis of seeing her walk from the lift to my office, for an interview. She had great breasts and wore a lot of tight clothing. I perved at her for the three months she temped for us.

- on here I am kiwipat, but my friends used to call me pornopat.

- our cat is the most serence being I know, and I truly envy her life.

- my happiest moments usually occur training.

- my love of triathlon scares me a little.

- when I first posted on slowtwitch I thought it was some quirky, 100 person thing. When I realised how huge it was, I felt self conscious about some things I'd posted.

- Tibbs made me laugh out loud, so often.

- I am obsessive about my running socks. I will not run without my special running socks.

- about twice a year I get hideously drunk and stay out all night.

- people say I am a very amusing drunk, and not scary at all.

- I once had two guys beaten up for trying to steal my jacket.

- I hate roadies.

- people who mess up the intervals in swim squad piss me off.

- i despise discourtesy.

---

kiwipat

per ardua ad astra

• I have never shaved my legs though wouldn't mind due to peer pressure but my wife says she won't have sex with me if I do until they grow back
• I'm an Elvis Presley fan
• like to do all my bike mechanics myself cos it amuses me to waste hours on it.....
• I'm a Manchester United fan (UK soccer team) and have been since I was 4 years old
• I like watching American Idol
• when I bought my first road bike I bought it about 3 sizes too small and had to have a stem of 140mm to compensate, plus I rode home on it after having changed down to the smallest gear not knowing how to change back up gears (i.e. the little black changer on the STI levers) and then called a friend telling him I thought I'd broken the gears
• I like being on the Slowtwitch forum more than I like working
....I'll think of more later.....

---

Stephen Perera
Gibraltar, Europe
graphics@gibraltar.gi

- I like lurking here and have been for a long time.

- I did IMUSA in 2001 and then not one triathlon until last year.

- I let my USAT license lapse for the first time since 1998 and I won't renew it. I won't do a triathlon this year, either. I am uncharacteristically unhappy with the state of triathlon and its fake, glossy images.

- When I'm alone, I think about my wife, how much I love her and how much I think I'll like being a father.

- I don't mind swimming in open water because I realize the odds of me actually drowning are quite low.

- I hate underwear. I wear it to work, but take it off when I get home.

- I never wash my bike after a ride. I wash it before a race, once at the beginning of a season and once at the end.

- I am intimidated by everyone else I see when I run, swim or bike alone, but refuse to let it show.

- I have put on 15lbs of muscle in the last 6 months.

- I am only 5'-3" and I am a man. Sometimes, I shop in the "young adult" section because its usually cheaper.

- I eat fruit and veggies only because my wife puts them in a bag for me to take to work and then makes more for dinner. She makes me a better person.

- I'm feel like I can do anything I want to with my life, even though I'm 31 and tied to a mortgage that keeps me in the job I am bored with.

- I don't think the majority of people hate their job and only stay where they because of the need for money. I include myself in that group. I have a plan to change that, but its a long-term plan.

...and now you know a little more than you should.

-Jay

This is a great thread-
I spend way to much time on internet message boards.
i have not done a triathlon yet because I know I have zero chance of winning because I am a crappy swimmer
I hate to lose at anything I do and if i'm not good at it I don't do it. i.e basketball and manual labour.
I love Ben and Jerry's and have eated 3 pints in one sitting
I eat cookies until I start to sweat
When ever i weigh more than 136 lbs I think I am fat and out of shape
I love to gamble on the golf course and find I can't get motivated unless money is involved. I'm glad my brother in-law is the same way and he is not a good golfer
I write letters to the editor pretending to be my mother-in-law.
I wear my workout clothes until the smell really bad and then i wear them one more time before I was them
I put to much pressure on myself and have become afraid of racing on the track in fear of not runnning fast enough
I shave everywhere, except my ass. I did that once and when the hair grew back it was so prickly I couldn't walk for 2 days due to the rash
I never spell check emails or message board posts
I drive a dodge neon

Wonderful thread this - well, here goes:

- I eat crap - all the time.

- I don't have a tri bike

- I own 3 bikes

- I really dislike cycling

- I'm shit scared of becoming the tub of lard I used to be

- I'm unhappy about the way I look with my shirt off

- I buy stuff I don't need regularly

- My wife gets on my nerves more often than not

- I fantasise about sex with other women

- I wear dirty kit - regulary

- I have NEVER peed off the bike/in my wetsuit/taken a crap outdoors

- I own more pairs of running shoes than I can remember

- I really dislike my job, but haven't the balls to sell up and go travelling



There'll be more to come when I think of them.......

Here goes:

-- I refuse to read posts in the Lavender Room as I know I'll lose respect for people based on some of the dumb-ass things posted over there.

-- I mentally discount the intelligence of people based on their lack of spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

-- Yes, I can be a snob.

-- I cry frequently at things that are sad or inspirational.

-- I am married with two stepdaughters, but I prefer my dog to my stepdaughters.

-- My daughter, however, means the world to me, and sometimes I tear up just thinking about her.

-- I am well on my way to losing the weight I've added over the past few years. I plan to "win" this Epic Diet.

-- I think one-piece tri suits are gay.

-- I secretly "trained" my daughter so that she'd get the Blue Presidential Fitness Award patch at school.

-- My iPod contains so many gay songs it could be owned by Ricky Martin.

-- I would have made a great member of the Village People.

-- I think Paula Newby-Fraser is smoking hot. I'd leave my wife for Nicole DeBoom.

1. I sometimes don't pass a good looking female on the run or bike for a while just so I can enjoy the view and forget the pain. (Fess up guys, most of you have done the same.)

2. I hate ultra aggresive people. They need to get a life.

3. I sometimes take the family for granted and feel bad when I realize it.

4. It's fun to read this post because for a change everyone isn't bragging about how great of an athlete they are.

5. Wetsuits suck. (I threw this in just to get some people upset.)

6. Sometimes I think training for triathlons gets in the way of other more fun things but I train anyway, go figure.

7. Seeing new diet revelations come out every 3 months pisses me off. If you want to lose weight, eat less.

8. I think life is great and enjoy every new day. Don't forget, you can never buy back a day so make the most of it.

somehow, all this doesn't fit too well with the rather shy person we met a month ago you know...

It's a matter of time now before somebody admits to murdering somebody else. Or a dog beating or something.

Come on people. Let's see them bones.

I bow to the genius of this thread.

---

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oops, not the end of that movie -couldnt even watch some of that. just where hes walking around in the beginning, has lots of bottles in the shower, and does crunches. and im really pissed that guy is telling me what to wear -not literally speaking just frustrated

This has turned into a very profound thread. I hope Slowman archives it for the eternities. There are some very deep truths in it.

More of mine:

I think I should have been born male. I completely relate to Travis Bickle, Jake Lamotta, Rupert Pupkin, and Tyler Durden. I have seen Raging Bull and Taxi Driver well over 20 times each. I want to blow up corporate shit and kill shitty people. Or maybe I just should have been born Robert DeNiro or Martin Scorsese. But then I couldn't fuck Robert DeNiro if I was him. Oh well, either way.

I think the fighting instinct is completely repressed in our post-modern world and that is why we have the problems we have. Men in particular have nowhere to channel their instincts in a healthy way. I feel kindof sorry for men in our culture because of this.

I broke up with a guy because he had a very small penis. I didn't tell him that though. We would be married if it wasn't for that little issue.

I don't care that we are polluting the earth beyond recognition. I think we should do it faster and give the planet a break by exterminating ourselves. The human race is shit and does not deserve to live. We are beyond stupid and getting stupider with each generation.

I love drugs. I did a shitload of them between the ages of 18 and 28. I love X, speed, mushrooms, and Jack Daniels. I still have hallucinogenic flashbacks, and I like them. Sometimes I am woken up from sleep by voices. I don't drink or do drugs anymore because I scared myself too much, esp. the Jack. I am a rageful drunk. I can't be trusted to behave myself with that stuff around.

I hate my family, and have not talked to them in 8 years. No plans to talk to them in the future.

I really wish that I had written Sinead O'Connor's first album, The Lion and the Cobra. It totally kicked ass. I also fantasize about being in The Clash or X. Joe Strummer was brilliant and I am sad that he is dead.

I completely, totally, and absolutely hate hippies. I blame them for the fucked up state of our country. I hate stupid fucking people who don't understand that structure is what makes healthy people. I hate the hippies from the 60's children who pollute the earth today. Their kids are so fucked up and they have no clue why. And, hippies had completely shitty music. They are pussies.

I think Johnny Cash and Muhammed Ali were/still is angels.

Despite all my anger I am really a sweetie, and would help anyone out. I hate people, but I love my friends.

Since turning in my resignation from this horrible sex offender therapist job I have started getting rid of most of my junk. It started with all of my psychology library and tests and has moved on to the clothes that I wore to the job, and some furniture. I also got rid of fatty clothes that are too big for me now. I was so miserable in that field for those 10 years that I got fat. Now I am less fat, and much happier believe it or not.

Catharsis and purging are good. I love life transitions. I love when life is in motion. My current depression is just a station on the way to get to where I am going.

I hate food and I hate eating. I don't savor meals like other people. I wish I could drink every meal. I was also anorexic between the ages of 18 and 28. Not because I have body issues, but because food is just gross.

That said, I really love beef.

I love working out and pain and boxing. Pain is deeply cleansing, be it emotional, physical, or spiritual. Pain is our friend.

I am not going to check the spelling on this post.

---

------------------------------------------------------------

1. I hate my job but I don't have enough ambition to quit and do something else.

2. I have a hard time keeping myself from doing something really crazy in public and I fear the day that I won't be able to stop myself.

3. For a middle aged man I like Buffy the Vampire Slayer way too much.

4. I don't like pasta.

5. I have eaten guinea pig.

6. I think sex is over rated and a good crap is under rated.

7. I can have a horrible temper, thankfully it rarely shows it's self but when I lose it I just see black.

When I was 10, my friend and I accidentally locked about 6 of his kittens in a safe. Jackass couldn't remember the combination and his dad didn't want to pay the $50 for the locksmith to pick it open. They died quickly when he drowned them the next day so they wouldn't suffer.

"I broke up with a guy because he had a very small penis. I didn't tell him that though. We would be married if it wasn't for that little issue".

My version: I broke up with a girl because she had no boobs. She was perfect and I often kick myself for being such a jackass. On the other hand, I like boobs.