What are your goals for IM? Have you ever done an IM before?

Is this your first child?

How long until the race?

I'll have a longer post to follow based on your answers. I just went through the exact same thing.

Adoption?

(i'm not a father, therefore apologise for my heartlessness)

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"Language most shows a man: Speak, that I may see thee. It springs out of the most retired and inmost parts of us, and is the image of the parents of it, the mind. No glass so mirrors a man's form or likeness so true as his speech." - Ben Jonson, Timber, or Discoveries made upon Men and Matter.

Jerry,

It can be done...but do you want to? I have been doing tris for 22 years, and am committed to continuing and continuing to do IMs. We are expecting our 3rd in April. With the birth of each child I took a week to 10 day vacation just to stay home (no training!) and learn the family unit as it changes. I have also skipped my yearly IM each year that a child was born. Quite frankly, I think you have to (at least I do) in order to give your expanded family what it deserves. Although, I always try to do a short race when the child is 8 weeks or so old, just for fun and to show off the new pride and joy.

They don't stay young for long - enjoy it! Is this your first? Things change, like training. But that's ok. In fact, I think I have gotten better on less time.

Good Luck and Congrats!!

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David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

My goals are to finish in 12-14 hour range. This is my first IM and my first child. The IM is September 7th.

I bet you still might be able to do both. It is worth mentioning (although I'm sure you already know) priorities.
I wrote this a few days ago and got a lot of positive feedback from it. It doesn't apply to everyone, and everyone has different values too- but this story tells a perspective I admire and you may see something in it... Copy the link to your browser (I haven't figured out the hyper text thing yet for this forum)
http://www.bikesportmichigan.com/editorials/0000011.shtml
Congratulations too. I can finish Ironman, but I'll never have kids :( We all want what we don't have.....

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Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

relax, jerry. :) i have actual printed card on my desk where i work at the jail which seys " nobody has yet diied from a lack of sleep" heh heh. in a couple months the little future stars and stripes jersey wearer will be sleeping hours upon hours. you have mucho time, and you have lost only a fraction of what you think, if that. just go into a survival mode of running and riding when you can, and wait for spring. recall that last year i had mono all april and into may, and did nothing over that time - we are the same age with similar backgrounds except you are a dan site faster than me and so i predict you will do fine at MOO - easily attaining your stated goal in grand style. you could park your bike for 4 months and still ride close to 6 hr Im split and you know it. :) do some running - hit the pool a bit, spin on the rollers and chill. nobody has ever diied from a lack of sleep, buddy.

Wow Great article! FYI - I was there, but I didn't see her. I guess my sights were set on my own true love who was there waiting for me at the finish, and, for Jerry, with first baby in her tummy!

Thanks for directing us to your story Tom.

david

Jerry-Congratulations, both on your child and on your decision to do an IM. I asked the previous questions because I had (well, my wife technically) our first (and probably our last, unless I start to get some sleep) child about 3 months before I did my first IM last year.

I can tell you, that was the worste three months of my entire life. The first few month of fatherhood is a nightmare. I don't care what people say. You don't get much sleep. You are super stressed out from all of the changes that are happening in your family. You feel like crap because you can't train like you used to. It just sucks!!!

But it does get better. Hopefully after about 3 month your son will start to sleep through the night, which will be the happiest day of your life. And things will sort of settle down around the house.

If it were me giving advice, I would say it will be very difficult to do the race, but it can be done. I would spend the next 2 months just doing as little training as I could. Just do enough to keep some base fitness. I would spend the extra time with the family. This will pay BIG dividends this summer when you want to go on a 6 hour bike ride. Then as things settle down a little, start to get back on track with your training. You won't lose much in the way of training, and you will have gotten to spend time with your wife and new son. Which in the big picture is probably much more important anyway.

Good luck!!!

I'd have to say I was even more happy the day we finally got rid of the diapers than I was the first time our son slept through the night.

Congratulations on your new son. Life as you know if has changed. It seems you already are getting a taste of that. I know longer do tris, however at one time I did 24 in a two year period. I've also traveled and worked in many cool and exotic places. It thought my life was full until we had our son and now I know everything before fatherhood was not really important at all.

I know how difficult those first months are but there over before you know if. Hang in there and all will work out.

Congrats. I think it can be done, and better now than a little while down the road. I'm doing my first IM this year as well (IMFL) and it's much harder now that our oldest is 2 1/2. He now notices when I'm not there. I used to do my long runs on Sunday mornings, but now leave that open in order to be there when they wake up one day a week. Maybe I'll do 14 hours instead of 12 or 13, but the trade off is worth it.

Life has definitely changed, but it gets better than the first few weeks, sleep-wise.

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Marcel

Relax. September is still long enough away for you to enjoy being a new parent and get in your training. Your infants sleep patterns will improve and you'll get used to it. I've been doing tris for 13 years and have had 2 children during this time. Try to get in some naps when you can and keep up your training at a moderate level for a few weeks.

Congratulations on the birth.

My advice would be to forget about an IM this year. Enjoy these wonderful days/months of your childs life with your wife and your child. They only pass that way once.

I know that others have said go ahead and modify(lower) your goals and do the race, but anyway you look at it, training for and doing an Ironman takes a significant investment of time and energy.

I would suggest looking longer term on the relationship front. I don't want to stir up the pot here( and I hope and pray that your relationship with your wife is strong, secure and loving), but prime time for marrital discord and divorce is usually within a year or two of the first child being born and it often comes right out of left-field - even in "the best" relationships. So, be careful. Be very careful.

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Steve Fleck @stevefleck | Blog

Congratulations! I will be in a similar situation. My wife is expecting with our first child ( a boy as well) the first week of April, and like you, I am also signed up for my first IM at Wisconsin.

So please post or email me any tips or insights you have in managing all these wonderful new challenges.

jima
aspinall3@juno.com

"My son is 2 weeks old yesterday"

Jerry, welcome to parenthood. Been there, done that (twice) and it was a tough adjustment to make. Now your life changes dramatically, more than people realize until they actually do have kids. It's not just about you anymore and the "me" attitude is now out the window. It's now a matter of prioritizing. You can still keep you hobbies, but always remember what is most important. Think hard about the IM. It would be great if you can do it, but if you miss it it's no big deal. There's lots of others and your family is far more important.

I've only been doing tris a few years and am glad to have started later in life. My daughter is off to college and my son in high school. It would have been a much tougher balancing act to be doing tris if they still young.

Congratulations!!! I'm in the same boat. My newest daughter is just three weeks old. And, Yes, my training is suffering. But, I have been through this before - and it doesn't take long for the family unit to settle into a routine. Just take each day at a time - if you get a few minutes to work out.. take them. If you dont - remember, this is a once in a lifetime event. Family first - triathlon second..... work 99th.. By spring, your son will sleep a good chunk of the night and will likely nap a few hours during the day- thats prime time to sneak in a run or a ride..

If you dont have one.. buy a jogging stoller... a good one. I could run for hours pushing my oldest daughter - she just slept.

My wife and I had our first child, a boy, the Friday before Thanksgiving. He's great, and it has been quite a change. However, my experience has been a bit different from some of the others here. Let me preface this by stating that I know nothing of IM training. I've never done one, and don't plan on doing one in the near future. I do, however, have three half IM's planned for this year.

Our baby came home from the hospital sleeping, and pretty much sleeps through the night. He wakes up around 3 or 4, then goes back to sleep until 7 or 8. He's just a good sleeper. I began plotting my training schedule long before he was born, and tried to work out a plan that would keep me training AND at home to spend time with my wife and him. First thing I did was bought a new trainer -- a nice one, the Kurt Kinetic. Second thing I did was throw swimming out the door. Our "local" pool is a 45-minute drive away, and this time last year I was going over two nights a week for swims. Not this year. If I can't get over there during the day, I don't swim. I manage about 4 swims a month; maybe in a few weeks I'll be able to get outdoors in my wetsuit and take a dip in the lake.

I work 8-5, get an hour for lunch, and live a mile from the office. I try to workout when I can, and that means at all hours. I can walk out of my house and run anywhere from 20 minutes to 20 miles if I want to (the joys of living in a small town). So stealing a run isn't difficult, and with my trainer, I can ride whenever I need to. I have ridden at lunch, late in the afternoon and even at 11 p.m.

Our baby sleeps quite a bit, and I can often get an hour here or there when he's asleep. I try to workout 4-6 hours during the week, and then pick up another 4 hours on the weekend (mainly on Saturday mornings; that way I have all day Saturday afternoon with the family).

I have found that the best way to make training invisible to the family is do it when they're asleep or not around. Hence my early morning and lunchtime workouts. For example, I got in a 45 minute run today at lunch. If the baby is asleep tonight, I may do an easy trainer spin. If not, so be it. The run was the key workout of the day, and it's in the bag.

You can train with a new baby, you just have to plan it and be creative and flexible. My trainer has been the key to keeping my cycling sanity; it affords me the luxury of riding any time during the day. And I can usually get in a run fairly easily, too.

Back to IM training. Don't know enough to comment on that. That would be a personal decision. Some have said you can and should do it, others have said no. Again, that's a decision you would have to make. But you can train and stay in shape to do half IM and below. It just takes creativity and flexibility. FWIW, my dad ran every day when we were growing up -- still does, in fact. But if hadn't told us, we'd never have known it. He made his running invisible to us by going out before sunrise -- every day. So I learned the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and keeping the family out of training from him.

RP