I'm not concerned with the goose or the gander. I'm concerned for the goslings. Their well-being matters above all.

Their father was absent even when he was home. He had no hand in any of the business of raising the kids. He had no true relationship with any of them, and none whatsoever with the youngest, whom he didn't see for the first 18 months of his life. They have been raised exclusively by their mother for the entirety of their lives, and me, for the last four years. They are healthy, happy, well adjusted kids and love their life at home on the farm. They resent missing events on "his" weekend and all, without exception, have said they would rather not go to his house if given the choice. He hasn't asked them how they would feel about spending more time there, because he doesn't care. And now he says he wants them for three months.

I suspect part of the motivation is to boost his custody time above 90 days/yr so that the child support obligation falls by nearly half. In VA that is the cutoff, and it is steep.

Given that he owns a home in town and uses it when he feels like it, and that she has offered more time with them beyond the constraints of the settlement agreement, I really don't see how uprooting them for months at a time from the only home they know and the only parent who's fully invested in them is good for them or a reasonable accommodation given that the prior arrangement is what he had requested in the first place. Not to mention that their mother works part time to be home with the kids more, and he is and will be working full time, so they'll be home with his wife for the majority of the summer if that were to happen.

I'll admit my bias here, but I'm also a divorced dad in a similar custody arrangement and I always put my kids needs above my preferences. Always.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W