sphere wrote:
The real issue here is, and I hope it doesn't come to this for their sake, is that it would precipitate a complete cut-off physically and emotionally of the child/children if they wanted us to pursue that for them since the law is clear that 18 is the age of record. From what I've read a court would hear a case of a young tween/teen who pushes for it. It would be a death sentence for their relationship with their dad. The oldest has told us that both he and his wife heap on the guilt when they voice any emotion that isn't favorable to dad, like wanting to stay home on an important weekend or having him stay in the area to support an activity, the four year old voicing homesickness at his house, etc. All three have been told that it's hurtful to tell their dad they don't want to go with him, that if they loved him they wouldn't make him feel bad, things of that nature. Very much like in their prior marriage, any expression of feelings or desires (or boundaries) that don't meet his needs is met with emotional manipulation. If you love me you wouldn't feel this way...that sort of stuff. It's a lot for kids to process.
I’m sorry but fuck that guy. He’s already damaging their relationship and I don’t see any outcome that is favorable for said relationships if he continues with his antics.
I’m a firm believer that blood doesn’t give one a free pass for carte blanche. Sure he’s their biological dad but it doesn’t seem like that’s healthy for them. You’re home environment is likely far better suited for their physical, mental, and emotional needs.
They must comply until 18? Despite their wishes and schedules? Fuck that. And forget just sports. What if the kids have a job that they need to get to? Kids start working at 15. Weekend hours are common. Relationships and school events that take place after hours and on weekends.
Seriously, fuck this guy. I hope it gets thrown back in his face in court especially after the phone call you just described.
I couldn’t imagine doing that to my kid. I’m so sorry you and they have to put up with his pathetic insecure ass.